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| Kings of the Keys |
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Kristen Bjorn is a mature, serious director with a fertile sexual imagination who is often successful bringing his inspiration to the screen. This flick stars 3 of the best tops in the business (Leon, Miklos, and Jimenez) along with well-hung stud muffin Ivan Andros who carries the story line as a happy voyeur with a camcorder. The film has a stunning soundtrack and is filmed in the forgotten Key West area.
Some highlights: the first long scene closes with a butt sandwich composed of the Brothers Pastores; Guillermo’s balls rest on the rim of Diego’s butthole while Miguel Leon, looking quite like a pirate, licks their behinds thoroughly and fucks them both with his ample swarthy meat. Scene 2 has Max Veneziano and Arpad Miklos don handcuffs as makeshift cock rings while they fuck their partners (Craig Decker and Dirk Amsterdam). When Max shoots, the camera frames his pulsating dick with a sumptuous fruit bowl in the background. When Arpad shoots, he parks his dick beneath Dirk’s crotch and rains a shower of cum into the air. In the fourway that follows, Max cums again while licking Dirk’s crack like a peach (continuing the fruit bowl theme) while Arpad ravenously laps at Dirk’s nipples.
The leather bar scene looks like a huge golden mural, with camera spotlighting one area, then another. One section of the mural shows Filippo Romano in leather cap slowly fucking beautiful Pietro Rosselli; another shows lucky Antton Harri being fucked in the mouth by Matthieu Costa and in the ass by the divine Juan Jimenez. Film closes with a masterful love scene between Jimenez and Andros. Ivan has been hoping to get to know Juan throughout the story. They finally meet in Mardi Gras masks. Juan picks up the camcorder to record his own orgasm onto Ivan’s masked face; Ivan later spills his amazing pent-up load onto his daddy’s neck. Ivan then rides his new lover’s fat dick on a white canopy bed, murmuring in Spanish while Juan stares intently into his face. |
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| Winner! |
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| Chi Chi and Jordan Young deserved their resounding acclaim for this picture. Their Rubenesque horse-hung angel of a star, Tony Donovan, is terrific in his sex scenes, and he’s also good at pouting and being spooked. His finale with Dylan Reece is a hot mixture of affection and resentment, and Donovan fucks the cum out of his new boyfriend. The basement 3-way with Yeager, Tucker, rope, paddles, and the divine Dean Phoenix is unforgettable. Nino Bacci and Mathew Hunter are hot in their (under-praised) party escape scene. The gym gang blow is choc-a-bloc with big stars with big peters, and Larue took more pains than usual with this group scene. I would have done the shower scene differently because I don’t find hockey uniforms remotely sexy, but dream man Blake Harper looks enthralled getting thoroughly gang-banged. Though the story is hokey, Young shows wisdom and sympathy in drawing his leading men's characters. This flick is one of the best American story-porn films ever, and Sharon Kane’s music makes it even better. |
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| My favorite LaRue |
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| Chi Chi once said in a documentary “I know what’s hot!”--and this film proves it. He finds refreshing ways to show off magnificent Cory Evans as the highly sexed, under-dressed, new brother-in-law of Adam Wilde. Wilde has luminescent brown eyes and is perfect as the gay little brother who loves dick. Wilde gets so horny around Evans he ends up sucking two “straight” men (Jake Taylor and Dino DiMarco) at the same time in a strip club john. Big sister (Sharon Kane) graciously leaves her “two favorite men” home alone by the fireplace so we can see one of gay porn’s all-time great seductions. As a bonus, small neighbor Brian Kidd does amazing things with huge Mike Nichols in the best scene I’ve seen with either of them. LaRue’s camera lingers over his star’s assets and the sexy music propels this romp along. It’s a small masterpiece, so see it! |
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| Fellatio Feast |
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| This GAYVN winner is a 5-course porn feast directed by Jerry Douglas, whom I expect is very fond of cocksucking. Axel Garrett plays a deadpan, disillusioned good cop with a Veronica Lake haircut whose first assignment as a detective is to entrap fag Danny Sommers in a public toilet. As it turns out, Garrett ends up getting his first blowjob from Sommers, but not until Danny endearingly strips. (Sommers plays a lovable good neighbor who gives good advice as well as good blowjobs, and Garrett warms up to him by the end of the film.) Michael Brawn is perfect as a sleazy, corrupt vice squad cop whose plans keep backfiring. He feeds his dinner-sized dick to Chad Knight (sunbathing in a jockstrap) and then fucks him without realizing his partner (Garrett) is recording it all on video. Later Brawn is forced to suck Garrett’s dick in the back of a limousine by wealthy pimp Mitch Taylor because chauffeur Johnny Rahm suspects the two cops (posing as call boys) and wants proof they’re gay. Brawn at first resists, but once he gets going, he is in ecstasy with his partner’s dick in his mouth. I usually pick a favorite scene from a film, but it’s hard with this one because they’re all so good. Douglas manages to tell the story in a tongue-in-cheek (and cock-in-mouth) fashion with some funny moments. When Sommers rents an apartment across from Garrett, he sticks his dick through his Venetian blinds and then waves his phone number at his neighbor. Bottom line: I laughed often and came twice so this movie was definitely worth renting. |
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| Natural Bjorn Brazilians |
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| In my opinion, Kristen Bjorn’s films are in a class of their own. This film pretends to be about a jungle maneuver of the Brazilian army, but don’t be fooled. It’s a series of fairy-tale like vignettes of beautiful man-love in a tropical paradise. Hero / narrator Alfonso Ribeiro gets bitten by a snake but instead of becoming frantic, he sits down and writes a wonderful sex fantasy enacted by Gaspar Moreno & Rogerio Peixoto, two gorgeous swarthy men in white hats on horses. (The horses seem very interested in what the men are up to.) Ribeiro begins to hallucinate on snake venom when his comrades fail to come rescue him. In his hallucinations, Garanon, Breshnev, and Rojas keep appearing in various sex acts (including a banana dildo up the butt for Rojas) and disappearing. In the end Ribeiro mingles with the spirits, but only after a cum-filled 4-way. What a way to go!
My favorite scene in the film has cowboy Adriano Sabroso inspired to a wank in a roaring stream; as soon as he dumps his load, a rock in the stream comes to life as Mateo Torres, who chases the surprised Sabroso until he tackles him in the water. They get to know each other in a half dozen positions with as many cum shots before they both lie down in the river and turn back to stone. You’ll get your money’s worth if you rent this imaginative film with beautiful men, uncountable (usually hands-free) cum shots, carefully chosen musical score, and brilliant photography. If you listen carefully, you will hear a COCK crow in scene 3 when Marino & Amaral start to adore Pedro Pandilla’s giant dick with their tongues. I also liked the snake, the parrot, and the soft eager Portugese sex-talk. |
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| See the USA on your knees |
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| I got this film for 4 men I hadn’t seen. One of them, James West, appears with Doug Jeffries in the hottest scene. Jeffries, underhanded businessman, goes to his office on Sunday with the express purpose of seducing the janitor, West. It’s a delicious seduction with just the right amount of soft-spoken dirty talk, close up cock-sucking, and a hot fuck. The film is a 7-scene show case of 22 stars with plenty of variety and watchable men (e.g., Cliff Parker – looking great, Max Grande, Logan Reed, & Matthew Anders). Watch Sam Crockett top his partner, Damon Wolf, poolside without saying a word! Watch Marc Hamilton get the most cum in his face courtesy of tearoom partner Tony Tedesco. The somewhat laughable plot carries you from Catalina Island to Chicago to Colorado to Sedona and back to Chicago where it ends up at a Mr. Leather contest. Gorgeous Steve Rambo plays the slutty lead character and Cole Tucker is great as the “fierce” body guard who can’t keep his dick in his pants. I say rent it. |
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| Early Bjorn |
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| This film is nearly 20 years old, and you won’t see the players again, except Sean Davis (credited within as Foot-Long Sean) and Hogan Maloney. Davis (the narrator) is a consistently erect top, and his pairing with Dex Brown at the beginning is really sexy. His big torpedo reappears in close-up in the last threeway. Don’t miss Blue Vainer, another torpedo dick, with black partner Ned McCabe, a great cocksucker who rides his partner’s shaft in the shower like a trooper. The coastal Australian scenery is gorgeous, and the music is quiet, giving the film a private feel. Oh, and Dex Brown has great nipples. My only complaints: dubbed moans and sex-talk (Bjorn had no on-film mike), and some phony kissing. |
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| Apres ski sex |
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| The sex in this flick has the feel of hidden trysts in an Alpine ski lodge and the mood and soundtrack are very sexy. I always look forward to Erik Kovac (fox amongst the chickens) and so does one of the Paulik brothers, who bypasses lunch to eat Kovac’s big sausage instead. The other Paulik has a frolic with his twink bud at the end while they peep through keyholes at two sexy hunks jerking off. Alex Schon is one of the hunks, and what a piece of mouth-watering meat he has! The other is an uncredited beauty who looks a lot like Marty Bevins. Duroy consistently makes good porn. He has a fond place in my heart, even though his actors are often too young to interest me. |
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| Ooh Daddy |
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| The “Buckleroos” set took home most of the GayVN awards in 2004. See them!
Scene 1 of Part 2 takes place in a service garage and begins with Hank Locklear having a Phoenix foreskin feast; Hank eventually swallows most of Dean’s big dick and chokes on it; Dean wipes away Locklear’s choking tears with his thumbs (without removing his dick from Hank’s mouth). Ooh daddy! Dave Angelo arrives on motorcycle with foot-long cigar and attitude: “Which one of you candy ass faggots runs this place?” Hank timidly raises his hand. Phoenix & Angelo dominate Locklear (deliciously) and scene closes with Angelo whispering to Locklear what he is going to do to him next.
Scene 2 is incredibly hot, but it is not for the religious or prim and proper. Two barely legal missionaries show up at the ranch with their Bibles. Instead of converting anyone, the little cherubs get converted to penis paradise by Marcus on a breezy picnic table while church organ music plays. Marcus is amazing as sexual mentor. Skip scene 3 unless you like sexual Olympics. Skip scene 4 unless you like aggressive bottoms.
Last scene is great classic love making (Marcus and Dean). Put away your dick. Get out your handkerchiefs. |
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| Phoenix Rising |
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| It’s a good thing the hats and boots actually fit the cowboys in this movie, because that’s all they’re wearing most of the time. Filmed in the central California food belt, your mouth will water for these ranch hands and you’ll want to eat adorable Dean Phoenix whole. Hope you’re hungry.
Jerry Douglas writes a funny, clever tale about Phoenix and partner Marcus Iron who vow to be just roommates because they’ll stick together longer. (They did have sex once, they tell Owen Hawk, who comes to stay with Uncle Dean because he was expelled from his hometown for seducing too many football players.) Zak Spears is a splendid cowboy sex angel (“older than God”, he tells Phoenix) who walks through walls and spells horny cowboys using magic belts and silver dollars.
My favorite sex scene has Ricky Martinez and Arpad Miklos performing parallel solos. These bunk mates are struck into spells of Narcissism by Zak’s magic belts. Kinky foreplay using mirrors leads to auto-fellatio guaranteed to make you say “Why can’t I do that?” These men can and they suck themselves happily, shooting ample loads into their own eager mouths. (If I get what I want when I die, Arpad Miklos will be at the gate of heaven.)
I also liked the orgy, which is rare for me. Bartender Jake Andrews invites six customers to join him after closing. The scene is focused and sensual with a sexy score. Five men (including Edu Boxer & Chris Wide) make sex-love slowly while Dean and Marcus sit wide-eyed on the sidelines, stroking their big ones. They start to leave, but Zak first hexes them into coming while kissing each other passionately. |
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